Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was browsing a website where you can talk to strangers anonymously, when I met a guy I really hit it off with. After talking for two hours, we decided to keep in touch, just in time for me to hit the "Next Person" button by mistake. There's no way to undo it. FML

#8665468
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (25831)

On 02/26/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Ellen (woman) - Norway (Aust-Agder)

Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML

#8664737
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33828) - you deserved it (7864)

On 02/26/2010 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by sad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

#8664112
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/26/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by canadiansun - United States (Ohio)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7895) - you deserved it (33008)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (26477)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

#8663349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5952) - you deserved it (24679)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:43pm - animals - by Shinobi_3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52569) - you deserved it (3775)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Jewelofagal's comment : Time for some serious discussions about the state of your marriage and his level of consideration, care, and respect for you.

See all the comments →

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (7949)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

#8658890
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11387) - you deserved it (39563)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56135) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (3637)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)



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