Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14033) - you deserved it (50331)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

sccrismyantidrg's comment : That's horrible!

See all the comments →

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (39723)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML

#13570678
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17118) - you deserved it (38624)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40376) - you deserved it (4056)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (2632)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

#13566172
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5641) - you deserved it (44705)

On 10/23/2010 at 7:14pm - misc - by escortedout (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

#13565475
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (3321)

On 10/23/2010 at 6:11pm - work - by level6 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

#13561698
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55358) - you deserved it (3934)

On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

lexie206's comment : wow. I guess age really didn't matter to them..

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30818) - you deserved it (3979)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43900) - you deserved it (13239)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (9069)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

#13559030
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: