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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

#10791004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17436) - you deserved it (32116)

On 05/27/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2958)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

#10779349
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (2394)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (3169)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

#10777630
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11678) - you deserved it (39316)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (5712)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (5519)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (4600)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

#10773594
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (5331)

On 05/26/2010 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20612) - you deserved it (13456)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16753) - you deserved it (34670)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her T.V. repaired. FML

#10769429
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31375) - you deserved it (2727)

On 05/26/2010 at 12:26am - work - by customerservicesucks - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (36535)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



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