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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2515)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (6121)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

#13709445
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12712) - you deserved it (39716)

On 11/04/2010 at 12:18am - intimacy - by shotdown (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (16044)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

#13701882
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8648) - you deserved it (27715)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

#13701806
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (26708)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

#13701417
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (30386)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (3227)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

#13699572
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (4525)

On 11/03/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by shunned (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35523) - you deserved it (5070)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

#13698951
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (57888)

On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (12057)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61682) - you deserved it (13003)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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