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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (4643)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (4822)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (2983)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20447) - you deserved it (3870)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3542)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (37865)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (7785)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (3490)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (4019)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore



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