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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (2466)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (2064)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18732) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

hjrn's comment : you so need to report that!!!

See all the comments →

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (24075)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

#8153110
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by goestoschoolonsnowdays - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, I bundled up to shovel my car out of almost 2 feet of snow, only to find my car was gone. I ran into the nearby police station to report my stolen car. The policeman trudged down with me to get a report. I had parked my car on the other side of the street. FML

#8144453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5090) - you deserved it (27684)

On 02/11/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by snowbunny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

#8142277
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8369) - you deserved it (15327)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm - health - by unknown002 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (29660)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML

#8132975
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (8260)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm - misc - by HellaBomber91 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (3143)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)



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