Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#13675980
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (3913)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (3490)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (10924)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

#13675018
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (9812)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

#13674952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (5158)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

#13674656
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11498) - you deserved it (24697)

On 11/01/2010 at 12:43pm - work - by wtf_fml_0609 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36733) - you deserved it (4182)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

#13673860
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (2572)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML

#13673207
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:14am - misc - by halloweenless (woman) - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

#13673101
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5664)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

#13672466
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/01/2010 at 6:15am - love - by Googlebug - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (54720)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML

#13670033
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (3831)

On 11/01/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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