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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

#13716117
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12255) - you deserved it (34781)

On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

#13715674
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38539) - you deserved it (2754)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by traumatized4life (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

#13715432
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34198) - you deserved it (5684)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

#13713523
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (3885)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Whitley - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (3155)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML

#13713270
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (3396)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:42am - money - by Lisa - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (17698)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

ItsEdible's comment : I would've been confused too OP.

See all the comments →

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (2515)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (6121)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

#13709445
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12712) - you deserved it (39713)

On 11/04/2010 at 12:18am - intimacy - by shotdown (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (16044)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

#13701882
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8647) - you deserved it (27715)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

#13701806
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (26707)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)



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