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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8681) - you deserved it (26571)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (2762)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

#8781188
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22133) - you deserved it (3730)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm - health - by sunny_ca559 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26400) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (4642)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (4821)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3542)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (37864)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20259) - you deserved it (7786)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML



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