Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML

#11111501
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49137) - you deserved it (3626)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by dominator152 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

#11105800
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48129) - you deserved it (4308)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Collin - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (46631)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

#11102000
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (4128)

On 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by Aciliveth (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

#11099858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (3388)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:54am - misc - by Unwanted (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

#11097404
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (7008)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:06am - misc - by notyouraverageteenager - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to drive 300 miles to a town where I thought I'd forgotten my purse the night before. When I got to the hotel I had been staying at, I found out it was actually in the trunk of my car. FML

#11088527
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (43225)

On 06/09/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Caitlin - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

#11078150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (5424)

On 06/09/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by cheekymac - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

#11076892
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38653) - you deserved it (22742)

On 06/09/2010 at 9:05am - intimacy - by DFR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51286) - you deserved it (17839)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee's comment : Boyfriend Win, simply put.

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Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

#11071289
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (60972)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

#11070143
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (6371)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by dancerr2210 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (5599)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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