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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

#11097404
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (6799)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:06am - misc - by notyouraverageteenager - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to drive 300 miles to a town where I thought I'd forgotten my purse the night before. When I got to the hotel I had been staying at, I found out it was actually in the trunk of my car. FML

#11088527
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (43224)

On 06/09/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Caitlin - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

#11078150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you deserved it (5424)

On 06/09/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by cheekymac - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

#11076892
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38652) - you deserved it (22742)

On 06/09/2010 at 9:05am - intimacy - by DFR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51283) - you deserved it (17839)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee's comment : Boyfriend Win, simply put.

See all the comments →

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

#11071289
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (60970)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

#11070143
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (6371)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by dancerr2210 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (5598)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (7132)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML

#11047935
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (2829)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by highschoolgrad (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41157) - you deserved it (5647)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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