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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6747) - you deserved it (29732)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

#8324866
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6078) - you deserved it (30868)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5222) - you deserved it (58504)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (5935)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

#8314834
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33272) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (1558)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (6853)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (3706)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

#8299484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by thirdwheel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you deserved it (7467)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States



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