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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML

#13775057
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (2648)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

#13774933
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (5864)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - India

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

#13773791
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (5189)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54465) - you deserved it (10825)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

odexy's comment : Fuck HIS life for having such an awful sister. You should accept what he wants to be, he shouldn't feel uncomfortable with his own gender/body just because you're afraid your children are going to be related to someone 'weird.' This, of course is assuming you mean your brother wants a sex change. There's nothing wrong with what your brother wants to do, and unlike what #3 says, your children won't be fucked up because of it. No one will. If they're teased about this at school then have those children reported to the schools principle, because they clearly need a lesson in social skills.

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Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

#13771882
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (82979)

On 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm - love - by ashbox233 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (2607)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36333) - you deserved it (4959)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50035) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8325) - you deserved it (43410)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45616) - you deserved it (8730)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

null's comment : So you're the "before", but not the "after"? Are you trying to tell me... that an internet advertiser is making false claims?!

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Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

#13766093
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29765) - you deserved it (11026)

On 11/08/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by pixie09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4010)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore



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