Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34883) - you deserved it (2607)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (4959)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50036) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (43352)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45609) - you deserved it (8730)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

null's comment : So you're the "before", but not the "after"? Are you trying to tell me... that an internet advertiser is making false claims?!

See all the comments →

Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

#13766093
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (11023)

On 11/08/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by pixie09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28335) - you deserved it (4010)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore

Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML

#13764909
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (8507)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by wow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26164) - you deserved it (15220)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

#13764337
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (25057)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35096) - you deserved it (5728)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

#13762252
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (3951)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:48am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML

#13762244
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (8457)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:47am - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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