Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

#13766093
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29762) - you deserved it (11023)

On 11/08/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by pixie09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (4010)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore

Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML

#13764909
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28311) - you deserved it (8507)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by wow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (15219)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

#13764337
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (25057)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35095) - you deserved it (5728)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

#13762252
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (3951)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:48am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML

#13762244
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (8457)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:47am - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (3151)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (8178)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

#13761908
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (24620)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (30804)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

#13759888
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (11369)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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