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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

#13825222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (5503)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

#13823567
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13408) - you deserved it (35780)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:21am - love - by looke27 - United States (California)

specialagentstev's comment : Is your mom a cannibal?

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Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (19827)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (14129)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (4085)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35871) - you deserved it (5921)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

#13822299
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (4486)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

#13822249
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by tmac05 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (9253)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML

#13821323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10079) - you deserved it (35730)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:10pm - work - by klm878 - United States (Kentucky)



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