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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33204) - you deserved it (2976)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11936) - you deserved it (26166)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

#10501426
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (4343)

On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (8295)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (7751)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML

#10488066
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (2739)

On 05/12/2010 at 4:07pm - work - by ab1e - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (5410)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

#10464786
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (5194)

On 05/11/2010 at 11:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me through Skype, with the message "my penis wants more, but my heart and mind don't want to hurt you." FML

#10462251
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (3857)

On 05/11/2010 at 4:56am - intimacy - by justsingle (woman) - Philippines

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (7526)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

#10446068
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (47720)

On 05/10/2010 at 1:28am - work - by drewig - United States (California)

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

#10435467
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (6032)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

#10435354
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34498) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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