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Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

#5972663
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (6807)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (8634)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

#5971935
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (5995)

On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (5396)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (5845)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7905) - you deserved it (124469)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (3416)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

#5968857
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (3861)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Marcella (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (3114)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

#5968362
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (33922)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by kiran - United States (California)

Today, I found a dead puppy in my backyard. I have never owned any pets. FML

#5966909
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36905) - you deserved it (2048)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by WhyMe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11704) - you deserved it (30386)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33708) - you deserved it (11736)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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