Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (36148)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML

#13863869
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11425) - you deserved it (19971)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51757) - you deserved it (12837)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

#13862982
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (6767)

On 11/16/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (26659)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (8438)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that people can get ringworm from cats. I found out because I have ringworm. I don't have a cat. Then I remembered I helped a friend move about two weeks ago, and spent the night sharing a bed with her cat. That's the last time I ever help her move. FML

#13861463
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (3938)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML

#13861090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (5722)

On 11/16/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

#13858571
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (4638)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:25pm - health - by n0taplumber - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

#13857335
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (5051)

On 11/15/2010 at 9:02pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43552) - you deserved it (6352)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (3955)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

#13854444
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37054) - you deserved it (6512)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: