Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

#13829681
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (2952)

On 11/13/2010 at 5:34pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (3580)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (54173)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

#13825716
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45448) - you deserved it (4122)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:43am - work - by everythingWASperfect - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32348) - you deserved it (2934)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

#13825222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (5503)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

#13823567
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13408) - you deserved it (35779)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:21am - love - by looke27 - United States (California)

specialagentstev's comment : Is your mom a cannibal?

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Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (19826)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (14104)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (4085)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (5921)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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