Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (7221)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

#10649271
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36109) - you deserved it (6158)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:32pm - intimacy - by kjdhfakjs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got a job interview, and I thought it went amazing. They were supposed to call me today or tomorrow with the news. Today is also the day that my phone company decided to cut my phone off. FML

#10648270
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/20/2010 at 12:58pm - work - by goodtiming (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

#10647236
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/20/2010 at 11:20am - kids - by Soaked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

#10645827
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6624) - you deserved it (50099)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13904) - you deserved it (42984)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

#10643187
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (7752)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by evelynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

#10642030
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42408) - you deserved it (4729)

On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

#10629678
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (4234)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:43pm - animals - by Rich - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (3115)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

#10628533
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (28247)

On 05/19/2010 at 2:42pm - misc - by phukt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

#10627602
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (6949)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Norfolk)



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