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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

#6705555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (2610)

On 12/11/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Sous_Chef (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (7657)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was doing a study on homeless people and how they manage to stay alive on the streets. Turns out the one I was studying today was given more money than I make in a week. FML

#6705143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (2524)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

#6704507
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (2136)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

#6703564
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (22379)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

#6703555
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

#6701307
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24620) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5106) - you deserved it (24542)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

#6698211
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14029) - you deserved it (34954)

On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

aksteve's comment : And you're still trying to convince yourself he's only "a bit older"?

See all the comments →

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

#6697068
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (2823)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by BabyBeardy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

#6696608
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (35778)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by Henji (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (4764)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)



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