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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

#13886918
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (7463)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (5716)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (9569)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (3469)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

#13884860
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (2564)

On 11/18/2010 at 3:37am - misc - by race (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML

#13884147
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (4369)

On 11/18/2010 at 1:44am - animals - by nottrustworthy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35245) - you deserved it (3883)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

#13883371
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (26589)

On 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (19001)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

mlleangelique's comment : Oh noes! You're seeing someone who doesn't fit ridiculously narrowly-defined stereotypes about what it means to be male! Poor you!

See all the comments →

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (2925)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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