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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

#10823884
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10608) - you deserved it (30293)

On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

#10821429
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26289) - you deserved it (12284)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

#10817967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (22665)

On 05/28/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by gahdamnit - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

#10815057
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (30197)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:20am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8658) - you deserved it (39611)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12446) - you deserved it (52971)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27409) - you deserved it (4637)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

#10802234
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (3617)

On 05/27/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Nchristine - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

#10796974
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41125) - you deserved it (3047)

On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

#10791004
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17272) - you deserved it (31852)

On 05/27/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (2901)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

#10779349
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (2391)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)



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