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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (18999)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

mlleangelique's comment : Oh noes! You're seeing someone who doesn't fit ridiculously narrowly-defined stereotypes about what it means to be male! Poor you!

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Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (8552)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (7866)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44463) - you deserved it (13139)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35009) - you deserved it (7483)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

#13876258
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (11605)

On 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by bottomdrawerraider (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (9500)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

#13874494
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (3098)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (5653)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43503) - you deserved it (8512)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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