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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

#12011441
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12440) - you deserved it (69950)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45421) - you deserved it (4467)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

#12004673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27128) - you deserved it (14772)

On 07/20/2010 at 3:01pm - love - by Ohshucks! - United States

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

#12002480
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32022) - you deserved it (4498)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm - animals - by brentkd - United States

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

#12002440
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (3715)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

#12000759
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (36493)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:33am - misc - by Speedy (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

#12000317
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (40122)

On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (46771)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

#11998516
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (9320)

On 07/20/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Ugh... - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML

#11994918
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (3439)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:57am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

#11991356
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22346) - you deserved it (8630)

On 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by PrintMaster - United States



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