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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML

#5848483
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (1885)

On 10/16/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by Hardsleeper - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

#5848381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (4616)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40453) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

#5847972
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (7221)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Unlucky. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

#5847643
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (5657)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by rugernut13 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

#5847291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

#5845825
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (1837)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by rejectedson (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

#5845760
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (3992)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by Matt (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

#5844999
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/15/2009 at 6:14pm - animals - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I flew to Mexico with my (now ex) boyfriend of two years. It was my first time flying, and apparently I have a fear. I had a panic attack on the plane. When we landed, I got dumped for "causing a scene." I am now stranded in Mexico alone for two weeks with no hotel room booked. FML

#5843517
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/15/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by dumpedandstranded (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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