Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63829) - you deserved it (4127)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116393) - you deserved it (10087)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12813) - you deserved it (45515)
On 04/05/2009 at 4:48am - work - by HDCkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63191) - you deserved it (3016)
On 04/05/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Geewizz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16599) - you deserved it (58013)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80085) - you deserved it (4582)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (14191)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)
Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51112) - you deserved it (6591)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21570) - you deserved it (48804)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (67757)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55698) - you deserved it (2777)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were watching TV. An info-mercial came on for a diamond cross necklace that had the lord's prayer engraved inside of it. As the commercial ended I said, "who in their right mind would actually buy that?" Turns out, my husband would, for our anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (16380)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ALLALA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52829) - you deserved it (7568)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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