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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (2107)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (5135)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (3299)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

#9097225
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (7177)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:11am - love - by MrsRockyHorror (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

#9096813
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:35am - love - by el211 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14642) - you deserved it (32576)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

#9095527
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (1970)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:19am - love - by kukadaman - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML

#9095139
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7142) - you deserved it (28832)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:00am - intimacy - by PubelishedAuthor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (4668)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (4435)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

#9092499
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (2706)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (8257)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (5160)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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