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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36545) - you deserved it (2147)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

#6067207
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (3419)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:45am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

#6066680
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (2116)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:25am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

#6066504
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (7083)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:02am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

#6065931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6309) - you deserved it (47227)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32793) - you deserved it (1744)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

#6065412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (5888)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by effinit (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (2082)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, at work one of my co-worker was oddly nice to me; and my boss, who usually always says hi to me, didn't look or speak to me. Later that day I found out that I was going to be fired, not because my boss told me but because my picture was missing from the wall of employees. FML

#6064494
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (1614)

On 10/29/2009 at 11:35pm - work - by SM (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

#6062810
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38153) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm - misc - by Bummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (6973)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to stay after school to make up for a test. When I got outside, I saw my mom wasn't there to pick me up. I called her and she explained that there was an emergency. I walked six miles home to see that the emergency was that Ellen had Taylor Swift today and she couldn't miss it. FML

#6060393
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (2418)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (2360)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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