Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (33433)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

#6260496
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (10118)

On 11/11/2009 at 5:10pm - love - by kiwi (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML

#6259115
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29970) - you deserved it (1952)

On 11/11/2009 at 3:28pm - work - by NCanalyst - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I finished up my physics project. I had to make some thing out of toothpicks and glue that will keep an egg from breaking when dropped 20 feet. It took me 10 hours to make it, but only took my dad 10 seconds to step on it and break it. It's due tomorrow. FML

#6258270
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29915) - you deserved it (4049)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Physics fail. - United States

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34364) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (13707)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5727) - you deserved it (38297)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

#6255110
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (3609)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

#6254923
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (3366)

On 11/11/2009 at 6:28am - animals - by dEpPrEsSeDgIrL (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

#6253724
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (35516)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Miserable (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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