Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

#7493759
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (38191)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28281) - you deserved it (5257)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (7706)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

#7493189
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32722) - you deserved it (4096)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:26am - love - by Rodrigeuz26 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6158) - you deserved it (36653)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9322) - you deserved it (29388)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (35952)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (2876)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (19503)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (4914)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65783) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

#7486334
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9276) - you deserved it (23964)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (100342)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

el_erico's comment : That is a completely rational reason to break up with someone. I would probably have stabbed you in the neck by then.

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