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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72070) - you deserved it (6238)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (4342)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML

#9156670
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (4758)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:18am - work - by mama75 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

#9155913
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (24757)

On 03/17/2010 at 8:48am - intimacy - by Bushfan101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

#9155456
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6561) - you deserved it (86296)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15826) - you deserved it (75444)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

#9153191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32345) - you deserved it (4638)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:05am - love - by Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (4038)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

#9150166
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11719) - you deserved it (23155)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

#9149422
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (3847)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by LG (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML

#9148913
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8721) - you deserved it (25045)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (3027)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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