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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML

#13968258
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (6555)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I celebrated my birthday. When asked last week, I said I wanted a keyboard. When I opened the present, my parents went into hysterics. It was an electronic Dora the Explorer keyboard. I've been studying music composition and theory for six years. They think my major's a joke. FML

#13967248
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (5828)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML

#13963928
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (5251)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38170) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML

#13962286
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (14253)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by ryansmithho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36206) - you deserved it (11639)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML

#13961527
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (2416)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

#13961459
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (4801)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

#13961412
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (10324)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

DocBastard's comment : "MOM! Your new lipstick tastes funny!"

See all the comments →

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (6620)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10187) - you deserved it (39114)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (8242)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -



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