Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I pretended to go for a run to impress someone on AIM. FML

#12252976
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you deserved it (35052)

On 08/01/2010 at 9:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9762) - you deserved it (58214)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30694) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

#12248112
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9606) - you deserved it (74325)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8930) - you deserved it (77700)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45116) - you deserved it (5603)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

#12242096
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31105) - you deserved it (2699)

On 08/01/2010 at 6:38am - misc - by Rawr (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (11888)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (6577)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (5382)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14840) - you deserved it (31383)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (12360)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)



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