Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

#8407366
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7997) - you deserved it (39715)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by DLS - United States (Vermont)

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML

#8406853
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (35153)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:41pm - work - by prisonbitch - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16243) - you deserved it (4593)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

#8404119
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (6304)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:01am - misc - by mylifeisahell - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (3436)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (2686)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

#8400921
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:51am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20688) - you deserved it (2505)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

#8400274
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you deserved it (3023)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:58am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

#8397954
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (3145)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

#8396917
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (1690)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by ApparentlyEmo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (3603)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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