Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45115) - you deserved it (5603)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

#12242096
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (2699)

On 08/01/2010 at 6:38am - misc - by Rawr (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (11887)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (6577)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (5382)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14839) - you deserved it (31383)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (12359)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (3786)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (3280)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16251) - you deserved it (39635)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (16471)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: