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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

#8713394
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (2718)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2202)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

#8711589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6889) - you deserved it (22924)

On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

#8708585
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (6486)

On 02/28/2010 at 1:31am - health - by annonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9782) - you deserved it (30162)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

#8706318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (24583)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (6405)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (6290)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (28637)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

#8693763
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (6946)

On 02/27/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by atmac95 - United States (South Carolina)



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