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Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (9443)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43169) - you deserved it (7791)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (9421)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

#9572677
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (8954)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML

#9572615
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (6648)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by kmang33 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12355) - you deserved it (64594)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

#9516462
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12138) - you deserved it (30276)

On 03/31/2010 at 12:44am - intimacy - by imsorrylove - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

#9507833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10044) - you deserved it (35461)

On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML

#9464228
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (6433)

On 03/29/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by xxlexi_lovexx - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49218) - you deserved it (9635)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

matt1337c's comment : They're so gay. Was it hot?

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