Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (5381)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (31356)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (12357)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28179) - you deserved it (3786)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24550) - you deserved it (3057)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16251) - you deserved it (39635)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (16471)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26200) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (5213)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (3289)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

#12221495
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (3958)

On 07/31/2010 at 3:35am - work - by telefucked (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

#12218347
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (5057)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by college kid - United States (Florida)



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