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Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43166) - you deserved it (7791)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (9421)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

#9572677
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23167) - you deserved it (8954)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML

#9572615
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (6648)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by kmang33 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (64595)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

#9516462
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12136) - you deserved it (30270)

On 03/31/2010 at 12:44am - intimacy - by imsorrylove - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

#9507833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (35460)

On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML

#9464228
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (6433)

On 03/29/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by xxlexi_lovexx - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49216) - you deserved it (9636)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

matt1337c's comment : They're so gay. Was it hot?

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (6005)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)



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