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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (8016)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

#7900233
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (55128)

On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

#7898560
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10389) - you deserved it (30346)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:33am - health - by Holly - United States

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (3011)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (27608)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (3977)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (23802)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (4081)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

#7889872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (61616)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

theman34's comment : you dick

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Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

#7885768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (4866)

On 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by MafiaWarsWidow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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