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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8455) - you deserved it (25087)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

#6692525
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5022) - you deserved it (62991)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (12417)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

#6691654
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (4637)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (2590)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (31595)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received an early Christmas gift from my boyfriend of ten months. It was soap. In a few days he will be receiving his very expensive specialized car horn he has wanted for years, while I will be enjoying my new bar of Walmart brand soap, which has already begun to give me a rash. FML

#6690600
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (4309)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:04am - love - by soapysoap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

#6689873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (25591)

On 12/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by nofinal (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8535) - you deserved it (36163)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (2218)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

#6688829
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (2429)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Melinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

#6687460
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17307) - you deserved it (3840)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML

#6686703
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)



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