Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10844) - you deserved it (22465)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

#7527132
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm - kids - by onemoreruinedthing (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (5164)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12696) - you deserved it (18442)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (7293)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

#7523418
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (6880)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Aphrodite - Sent from mobile version

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (33944)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

#7521211
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3940) - you deserved it (51918)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (64748)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

lexie206's comment : don't expect girls to sleep with you just cause you give them a compliment, YDI

See all the comments →

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (2364)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (5684)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (3050)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

#7518203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: