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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

#7249954
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (2874)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:55am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

#7249496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8953) - you deserved it (26942)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

#7247927
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2692)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm - misc - by 1thapp3ns (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

#7244801
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5736) - you deserved it (27332)

On 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (2900)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (6862)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (10456)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I spent about half an hour trying to decide whether to buy a top, because even though it was lovely, it was really expensive. Eventually, after deciding to buy it because I could always return it if I changed my mind, I got home and realised I'd left it on the bus. FML

#7235874
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14287) - you deserved it (27585)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:00pm - money - by Gabi (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

#7235673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21159) - you deserved it (2871)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by Justaddwater - France

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25619) - you deserved it (2971)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

#7234245
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (4484)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:07am - love - by notahomewrecker - United States

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

#7234085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (4263)

On 01/09/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by bjfail (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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