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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (3704)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (20763)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I chuckled at a "no smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

#8417763
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5173) - you deserved it (61933)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by kaycie_lynn (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (2391)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

#8410028
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (2697)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by fannylover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML

#8410012
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22794) - you deserved it (9312)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by tyler - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (3663)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

#8407366
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7995) - you deserved it (39711)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by DLS - United States (Vermont)

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML

#8406853
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (35147)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:41pm - work - by prisonbitch - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (4593)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

#8404119
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (6304)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:01am - misc - by mylifeisahell - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (3435)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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