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Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (15782)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

#10158363
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41966) - you deserved it (9138)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Rowden (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9155) - you deserved it (40264)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

#10120453
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (2709)

On 04/24/2010 at 7:38pm - love - by ncjarhead (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

#10066233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31027) - you deserved it (4163)

On 04/22/2010 at 1:37pm - health - by :) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

#10044709
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11086) - you deserved it (38276)

On 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm - work - by Z88 - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML

#10017161
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (4772)

On 04/20/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by uglyorstupid (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Arteaga's comment : well there you go, apparently he was helping you out aswell..giving you a bag to pick up the crap.

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (9229)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

#9950878
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11990) - you deserved it (51997)

On 04/17/2010 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by BoobSicle (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7934) - you deserved it (64056)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41736) - you deserved it (20607)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States



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