Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (51407)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (14767)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (3363)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

#11264233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (3634)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by pritch44 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

#11261528
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/17/2010 at 8:42am - love - by hopelesss88 - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

#11251365
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (3822)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Blank (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (2447)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

#11240102
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (39757)

On 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by theorifice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31126) - you deserved it (16887)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (7399)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)



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