Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML

#14051291
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7915) - you deserved it (34228)

On 12/01/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

#14048564
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33517) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by sumerflame07 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (3732)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (4933)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (9428)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML

#14045212
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9684) - you deserved it (30367)

On 12/01/2010 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6301) - you deserved it (48491)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

#14044741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (3576)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a call from my grandmother. Turns out my father found out about my elopement with my husband through my stepmother, because someone she works with told her. We were planning on it being a surprise, and telling people on Christmas. My father won't even talk to me now. FML

#14044640
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11398) - you deserved it (28074)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (3552)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

#14043145
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63044) - you deserved it (11540)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

firemanrob's comment : haha you should of used your penis as a gun cocked it and shot jizz in there face

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