Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (2938)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40186) - you deserved it (4847)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - love - by mymumdidntloveme - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (41814)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

BoltTheSuperdog's comment : And you're first reaction was to resort to physical violence (instead of at least a verbal request/warning for them to stop) without even confirming that it was your kid, let alone the same gender? In my opinion, YDI.

See all the comments →

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52976) - you deserved it (3790)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

htownpostman's comment : Betrayed by the people you are supposed to trust the most is just horrible.

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (9588)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (37629)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

thomcmoore's comment : So you left that poor guy high and dry? Well, maybe not dry...

See all the comments →

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40651) - you deserved it (6875)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

#21193277
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49633) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39158) - you deserved it (10568)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39962) - you deserved it (6455)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (14339)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39212) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: