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Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (2693)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Jinxsie's comment : So much for joining the Mile High Club. :(

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Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

#21372437
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/11/2015 at 10:01am - work - by nothesisforme - France

Immortal_Toaster's comment : I don't have anything witty to say, that just sucks. I'd report him to the higher-ups.

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Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (7803)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

blondeamazonian's comment : Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...

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Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

#21372313
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/11/2015 at 1:32am - kids - by CasaDeLoser (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27397) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18050) - you deserved it (20)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28361) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65) - you deserved it (45674)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (1926)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (3408)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (2626)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16) - you deserved it (3768)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26) - you deserved it (2637)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)



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