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Man or woman?

Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

#21516058
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (5051)

On 01/16/2016 at 10:28pm - love - by Roll Tide of Tears - United States

igg125's comment : You should have got her phone number.

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Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

#21515990
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11410) - you deserved it (17815)

On 01/16/2016 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML

#21515864
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (1284)

On 01/16/2016 at 10:00am - kids - by off-balance (woman) - Finland

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (7039)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Albull's comment : A costly mistake, I am sure you will check next time. YDI but FYL, we have all done stuff without checking.

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Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

#21515811
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19116) - you deserved it (7301)

On 01/16/2016 at 3:17am - health - by someone euthanize me -

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3614)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Tripartita's comment : In fairness, on the planet your boyfriend hails from, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy" is an extremely eloquent phase used to court royalty. He must think very highly of you.

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Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

#21515773
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (1137)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14312) - you deserved it (26330)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1310)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

#21515709
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm - love - by Gamergirl137 - United States (California)

Today, I work 732 miles away from my wife and three children, and I rarely get to go home. After giving up many hours of family time to work on my last home visit, I returned to work only to have my boss accuse me of stealing time, dock me 50 hours, and "review" my employment for termination. FML

#21515701
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21043) - you deserved it (1330)

On 01/15/2016 at 9:09pm - work - by I'm over it - United States

Today, I accidentally broke an expensive glass display shelf at work. My coworker joked, "Ooh, that's gonna come out of your paycheck!" My boss thought that was a great idea. FML



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