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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

#21517084
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Baustigt's comment : You have to be more careful next time. Do it secretly in the storage room off the hallway, or behind the dumpsters in the back alley. But don't let the cops catch you. They're cracking down on stray yawners and leaners and public partisans of nonchalance.

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Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

#21517065
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (5675)

On 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by xsnqw - United States (California)

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

#21517034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (3184)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm - misc - by blah - United States (Texas)

Kieranr10's comment : Didn't you notice the smell of alcohol but FYL

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Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he sat up and said, "You're still here?" FML

#21517022
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17078) - you deserved it (8281)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by clostar - United States (California)

cheeeksss's comment : What did you expect from him if you slept with him just from meeting at a party? Breakfast?

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Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

#21517019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (1691)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm - misc - by Mr_Yato (man) - United States

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

#21516953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (1337)

On 01/19/2016 at 12:03pm - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

#21516923
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:59am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

#21516912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML

#21516896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (1238)

On 01/19/2016 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19254) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to visit a suburb that was named after my family. Within five minutes of walking around I was mugged and then beat up. My family name has certainly done well for itself. FML

#21516844
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (1720)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:47am - misc - by heckaza - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML

#21516843
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (1167)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:41am - love - by FML - United States



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