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Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

#21455597
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21282) - you deserved it (2540)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm - love - by fridgemylifee - United States

ViviMage's comment : If he needs Mommy to hold his hand on a date, move on.

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Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

#21455591
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:12pm - love - by so_this_is_me (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

spursunited's comment : Smell random strangers on the bus/subway and when they ask what you're doing stare them straight in the eyes and take the biggest breath possible without breaking eye contact and slowly back away while whispering, "you smell different when you're awake..."

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Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Steephx0's comment : Maybe he just wanted to know what positions, etc. you liked as opposed to saying something cliche?

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Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML

#21455554
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (1470)

On 08/13/2015 at 10:54am - animals - by grace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

#21455499
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24143) - you deserved it (1490)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:58am - work - by SteamLass765 (woman) -

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

#21455438
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (5094)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

#21455427
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (2051)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:13am - work - by Highroller_17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML

#21455384
79 comments

Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

#21455380
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1889)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:44pm - kids - by jjjjjohn cena - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (4701)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

#21455220
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31560) - you deserved it (2034)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

#21455219
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by NoTattoo (man) -

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27511) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)



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