Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (17564)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44202) - you deserved it (3345)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

iOceanus's comment : You're qualified for the job, so we can't hire you. The logic. -.-

See all the comments →

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (3374)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

subhaan786's comment : Surely your manager or whoever isn't dumb enough to fall for someone saying they're in a coma? Like if they're the ones calling in I mean?

See all the comments →

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45160) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Mightytall's comment : Jealousy is a bitch ...

See all the comments →

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (5124)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (4054)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39487) - you deserved it (4837)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39605) - you deserved it (11933)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (54148)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

#21202583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (3792)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:40am - misc - by crippled (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
140 comments

Today, I was really upset and the girl I like saw me. She told me what a great guy I am and that I deserve to be happy. With any other girl but her. FML

#21202480
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (4001)

On 07/08/2014 at 2:04am - love - by SadlyNotMe - United States

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46459) - you deserved it (3609)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: