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Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

#21424715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (2299)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Reider022's comment : Their problem for not putting a sign on the door, either that or you picked out some good drugs.

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Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

KuronoEru's comment : Call back that asshole and prank him back.

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Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (1761)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Rinat's comment : Haha that's actually a little funny. Did you get his number though? The police can use it to track his shady ass down.

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Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

#21424629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (10576)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Bigbaby - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

#21424599
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (2473)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

#21424589
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (2862)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:04pm - health - by DUFF - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (2263)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

#21424550
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (3881)

On 06/11/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by varunet2004 (man) - India

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29321) - you deserved it (8560)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

#21424410
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (2003)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - misc - by 4lphab3t4 (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23437) - you deserved it (2091)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (1739)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML



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