Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (2674)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (6518)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

BlueMoonCafe's comment : Better safe than sorry.

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74340) - you deserved it (4340)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Mmkay1515's comment : Seems like that guy just really hates you.

See all the comments →

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52767) - you deserved it (3763)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (3637)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

rg350dx's comment : You could've just let it go and said you were so excited you shit your pants.

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (30705)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (5331)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54491) - you deserved it (4849)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55333) - you deserved it (4756)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (9162)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41363) - you deserved it (5325)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18439) - you deserved it (36026)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17542) - you deserved it (41036)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: