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Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (10735)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

skittles73's comment : What kind of porn do you watch?

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Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

#21440980
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26159) - you deserved it (1919)

On 07/13/2015 at 11:10am - misc - by carl_carl_ - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

#21440955
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (3588)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by distracted - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

#21440904
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (1756)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:45am - misc - by anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Benmantha's comment : 'Subway in Shanghai' sounds like an awesome band, with many band members.

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Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML

thesmeagol's comment : A letter dating the last day of employment would have worked better. You don't have to speak with them, and its documented in writing.

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Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML

#21440819
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (1599)

On 07/13/2015 at 1:06am - work - by Wolfrunner87 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4am; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

#21440806
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (2059)

On 07/13/2015 at 12:39am - animals - by 4am blues - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up and texted my girlfriend, "Good morning" like I do everyday. She responded with, "I'm dating somebody else". FML

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

#21440701
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (2836)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:03pm - love - by newmoongirl1036 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML

#21440556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2424)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

#21440548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (1505)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

#21440427
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (4884)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:25am - kids - by brichard22 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

#21440426
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (1986)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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