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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37282) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

lnheritance's comment : Don't take it to heart OP, guy was a douchebag. Get back at him by adding drinks to his tab.

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Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (3744)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

illinoiscentral's comment : Being possessive isn't good at all. Double standards aren't cool either

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Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (2080)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Noah197099's comment : This needs a follow up.

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Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (8533)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (3115)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42355) - you deserved it (10745)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (7474)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (9083)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML



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