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Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (2929)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Jasim's comment : A man remembers an argument? That's a first.

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Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

#21355305
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Liamj774's comment : Maybe you could pawn him for a new friend

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Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (3735)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Welshite's comment : The only option now is to follow up with a Valentine's Day poem. Roses are red Violets are blue Cheaters are scum I hate you.

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Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (7042)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2459)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (5692)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

#21354679
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33111) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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