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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35630) - you deserved it (4136)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

SS99's comment : I'm not sure if this is a hairy situation or a shitty one....

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Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

DooleyFTW's comment : Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?

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Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15203) - you deserved it (58163)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Eliseopwns's comment : Never lie to your friends about friends. It makes you lose your actual ones.

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Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML

#20659040
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (16081)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

#20658557
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37141) - you deserved it (3115)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

#20658454
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (11385)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51428) - you deserved it (7313)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50858) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (3253)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (16027)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51230) - you deserved it (6146)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44966) - you deserved it (2585)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (33459)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)



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