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Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

#21292231
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (3641)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Ichiya's comment : Now is the time to go shopping for a new boyfriend and some more make up.

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Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

#21292131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm - work - by kismet_fire (woman) - United States (California)

adamjcurryy's comment : I hate everyone.

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Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (5569)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

TrippingOnAcid's comment : That sounds like a very odd test. I don't know in what type of test that would be an appropriate question, but that was a great answer.

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Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

#21291978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (6540)

On 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (6106)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

#21291857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34661) - you deserved it (3842)

On 11/04/2014 at 9:01am - misc - by fuckshit (man) -

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (6360)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

#21291542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a pedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32311) - you deserved it (4773)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

#21291418
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (4374)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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