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Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

drewTheMan's comment : I guess it's pretty clear your dad never studied with anyone

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Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

whycantisignup's comment : CARKOUR!

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Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (1658)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Steve95401's comment : OP is from Arkansas - what a surprise.

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Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

#21429236
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/20/2015 at 9:59pm - love - by hotheadslav - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (17883)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#21429093
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22063) - you deserved it (3521)

On 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm - misc - by Bengemon825 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (2327)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (1774)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML

#21428807
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (4415)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by Ngbaheir (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (12367)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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