Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (5578)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (7984)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (4136)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
↑ SS99's comment : I'm not sure if this is a hairy situation or a shitty one....
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42664) - you deserved it (3861)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
↑ DooleyFTW's comment : Unclog the toilet with a hairbrush?
Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15178) - you deserved it (57947)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (16077)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (3115)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (11384)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States
Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51229) - you deserved it (7306)
On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50690) - you deserved it (2993)
On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (3253)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45608) - you deserved it (15998)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51060) - you deserved it (6148)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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