Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28096) - you deserved it (4843)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)

WCARlover's comment : Your drunken hookup didn't turn into a fairytale ending? Huh.

See all the comments →

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

#21357798
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (2147)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by Swatted - United States (Nevada)

feven's comment : Maybe you should have given your model a title to clear up any misunderstanding

See all the comments →

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14491) - you deserved it (33515)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

marulicko's comment : Ok, definitely time to get help...

See all the comments →

Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

#21357430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (12003)

On 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by cactii - United States

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

#21357283
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/16/2015 at 11:39am - intimacy - by notdaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

#21357201
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (2368)

On 02/16/2015 at 7:57am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (2038)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML

#21356994
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (1892)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by LP - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (2026)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (2287)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32786) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: