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Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (8941)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

stieglar's comment : Rule #1 of military training, don't talk back man. Have you not seen full metal jacket?

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Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

#21457265
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

OopsyDoodle's comment : still blonde on the inside though.

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Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Michael903's comment : How many times did you hear, "Your call is important to us"

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Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

#21457226
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND (man) - Canada

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

#21457207
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (1935)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by ThroatSlasher (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (35437)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

#21456831
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (7780)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm - kids - by donuts678 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

#21456823
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23385) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:18pm - misc - by NOOOOOO - United States

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13207) - you deserved it (13689)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)



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