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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#21429093
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (3517)

On 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm - misc - by Bengemon825 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (2386)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)

pugpuggy's comment : If it fell out at the interview, it could have been any of the other women at the workplace, and I'm sure your father-in-law would understand anyway.

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Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (2323)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

igg125's comment : I hope your insurance covers him, and maybe you should break up with him

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Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (4804)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Cads1's comment : No Easter for you.

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Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (1774)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML

#21428807
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (4411)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by Ngbaheir (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (12315)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

#21428771
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (8155)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm - misc - by jenpearl (woman) - Australia

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (3680)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while I was in the bathroom at a restaurant, my young son decided to drink the "slushie" I had ordered. We ended up at the hospital because that slushie was actually a margarita. FML

#21428647
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (6933)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:09pm - kids - by Kidisok - United States

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (2002)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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