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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (1112)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

KeannaLove's comment : I will never understand how people can take suicide so lightly. She sounds like an awful person all around. You're better off OP.

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Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18756) - you deserved it (1294)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

dezman2000's comment : You should follow this FML up in a couple of weeks, just so we know that you didn't follow in your doctor's footsteps.

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Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9240) - you deserved it (13530)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Crucio's comment : Is that a euphemism for 'excessive masturbation'?

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Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (1057)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15689) - you deserved it (2852)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (1516)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14144) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (1998)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

#21461594
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you deserved it (1831)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18287) - you deserved it (3073)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

#21461576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you deserved it (2301)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20639) - you deserved it (1824)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (3307)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)



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