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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

#21433696
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (2361)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:28am - love - by sleepingonmydesk (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (1490)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

assurant's comment : unless the pillow is made of solid gold then they are a selfish brat. FYL

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Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

#21433516
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (22473)

On 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm - kids - by AddictiveAddicted - United States (Colorado)

lantz4levi's comment : You probably should have at least checked with somebody before assuming it was fake

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Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

#21433513
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (1308)

On 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by CaptainFluffyPaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

#21433237
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (1317)

On 06/28/2015 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

hasooon's comment : The real FML is you working more then 12 hours a day.

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Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

#21433102
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19106) - you deserved it (1875)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (1797)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21783) - you deserved it (3750)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24908) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (3039)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (2085)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

#21432817
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (2211)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States



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