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Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (3667)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

annarcheer's comment : Your sisters a freeloader.

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Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (2380)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Leenah_93's comment : Did you get an "X-ray"?

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Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (2191)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

lex1459's comment : Kids say the funniest things. Once, a 2 year old girl I was babysitting pointed at my boobs and went "why are your apples bigger than my mommy's??" Sometimes you've just gotta laugh because that's really all you can do

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Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (2586)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (3027)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (4071) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (1982)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

#21380389
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (2210)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (11745)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (2104)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (3005)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33107) - you deserved it (2058)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)



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