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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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The Illustrated FML

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (317) - you deserved it (799)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (165) - you deserved it (734)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me the 'dread' of answering a phone call. When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, 'For what?' FML

#19039937 (25)

I agree, your life sucks (709) - you deserved it (54)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

#19039920 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (1187) - you deserved it (178)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:51am - kids - by ilana (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

#19039912 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (533) - you deserved it (342)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:37am - love - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave an old owl lamp away because I had no need for it. The new owner informed me shortly after that it was worth $400. FML

#19039556 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (1047) - you deserved it (1572)

On 02/10/2012 at 1:56am - money - by Feelinfunny1 - United States

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (2226) - you deserved it (570)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

#19037206 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (2320) - you deserved it (138)

On 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by truth - United States

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (3759) - you deserved it (1289) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (3948) - you deserved it (2665)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML

#19034269 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (4326) - you deserved it (242)

On 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by justfriends - United States

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (5589) - you deserved it (235)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (4373) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)